And so it continues...

This next bit of culture continues the horrible grammar of the online dating world. I just really don't understand why guys like this continue to message me when it specifically says right under my picture that I won't respond to poor grammar. Wishful thinking?

 And so it continues...

"Just wanted to say ur beautiful but I would like to get to kno u if ur interested. Let me kno alil bit bout u."

Here's something about me. I like guys who spell out words correctly when trying to make a first impression. On a side note, this site IS doing wonders for my self image. I'm going to turn into a snobby bitch who preens in no time. 


"you should cum play with us ;)"

I know the misspelling on this is intentional. It's sent by a married woman. Just in case you didn't catch that: a married woman. She's been kind of relentlessly sending me messages about how great her 'hubby' is and what she wants to do to me while he's doing me. Yeah. I don't know what part of the definition of 'straight' she doesn't understand. But she is determined to convert me.


"Hey whats up? I Just saw your profile and thought you seemed pretty cool I'd love to chat sometime and get to know you! Maybe even send you a Naked pic or something haha joking. Well i hope you are having a good day and hopefully we can chat sometime."

Suuuuuuure you were joking about the 'Naked pic'. It's interesting that he capitalizes random words in this and 'Naked' is one of them. I'm sure he wouldn't try to send me a picture of his dick. Never. It's not even on his mind....oh wait. 

"Hi,

My name is Xavier and I wanted to say hi! Your profile caught me eye and you are definitely beautiful and my type. I'd love to get to know more about you if you give me the chance to become your friend. Please reply back if you want to get to know me as well..."

I know this isn't full of terrible grammar. I am including this because of the 'you seem like my type' statement. I took a look at his profile and found this all over it. 

"I am in to sports, outdoor camping,soccer, golfing, fishingfootball. I listen to some of the old country from george strait, kenny chesney,reckless kelly" 

"I am really good at listening to others as well as sports from soccer, football,basketball,tennis to golf. "

And under the things he can't live without...

"Sunglasses, NFL, taco bueno, my daughter, nice pair of jeans and greygoose" 

So basically, this guy loves his sports. My profile doesn't mention sports ONCE.  It also mentions that I don't want kids and that I don't drink very much. So does he only like girls that are complete opposites of him? Or did he not actually read my profile? I'm going to go with the latter. Which is a pretty brave thing to do if you are going to claim that a person is 'your type'.  

Oh - and Taco Bueno can suck it. I'm a Taco Bell girl all the way.  
 

Round One: Grammar FAIL.

So here is my first round of messages from my foray into online dating. I'm too nice of a person to hurt anyone's feelings, so instead of responding to them directly, I just post them online for all to see and have them giggled at anonymously.  I know, I'm a winner.  So here we go into bad grammar land. Because that's the way to win a girl's heart.

" Y are u single u seem like a really good girl smart sweet and know what u want out of life"      

After reading this I had to sit on my hands and not answer back, "Because it's hard to find guys with good grammar." Come on guy...you even mention I seem like a smart girl. Why would a smart girl want to start communicating with someone who sends messages that make her eyes burn and her brain implode? THAT is why I am single. "

"Hi im corey how are you i liked your profile and would like to know if you wanted to talk"

Where is the punctuation for these people?!?!?!!? Are they all missing the punctuation keys on the keyboard? No, I don't want to talk to someone who cannot find the comma, apostrophe, period, or question mark keys on their keyboard.  What if, when you were typing, you were actually thinking this? 'Hi? I'm Corey? How are you? I liked your profile and would like to know if you wanted to talk?' I don't want to talk to someone who is unsure of his own name. In fact, if you don't punctuate your messages I'm going to automatically assume that you are constantly having questions and exclamations for everything. At least that will entertain me.

This one completely confused me. I have no words.

 "sorry i dont fit you profill shoud of read it first."

What? Is he telling me that he doesn't fit my profile? Or that I don't fit his? And why is he messaging me if I don't fit his profile? I'm so confused.  I looked at his site. He has a daughter. Except he can't spell daughter and says 'dautr'. I feel so sorry for her.

And here's the icing on the cake.

"Hello, Im amazed to see that you and I seem to be a 89% match.
You look like a very sweet girl, and Im not sure how much you play into the match of this site.
But if your interested, I invite you to come check out my profile.
Hope to here from you soon,
Courtney :-)"


Yeah. I pulled a girl. And she didn't even have good grammar. Yippee.

The Introductions

Hi! I recently decided to dive into the world of online dating because it seems that all of the good men have vanished to somewhere. I will be the first to tell you that they did not go online. I discovered this very, very quickly. But because I have an amazing sense of humor I decided to keep my profile active and relay these wonderful messages (and even some dating experiences) to my friends.

I won't be using anyone's user names or real names on this site. The messages I post are all posted exactly as received along with my internal dialogue and thoughts. Hope you guys enjoy my misfortunes. :)