Hiatus over!

So I didn't post for forever because I was actually in a relationship. But no more! (I'm sure you are thrilled that I'm back to entertain you.) And here's what you've been missing:


"Hello beautiful. Attractive man here.dark hair.blue eyes.great body.im in Euless now.trade pics (his number)
I moved here for work
Eddie"


Okay, Eddie-who-has-nothing-on-his-profile-but-a-picture, I'm going to let you have my phone number so you can send me pictures of your attractive, dark, blue eyed dick. Of course I am. I only know nothing about you and you don't put any effort into your online profile, but that doesn't really matter, does it? All you want to do is send me your dick. Because apparently, that's all you are.


"haha well hopefully you don't tease me...I think I'm just a little bit buffer than you"


Wow! You're buff? I never would have known that from the thumbnail picture of you posing with your shirt off and your user name of wrestingchris1! It seems like you were beaten to the punch with wrestlingchris and you couldn't come up with anything more creative so you just added a 1 at the end of your name. But that's okay, because you have giant biceps. That's all that matters in this world. I bet your pecker is tiny from all the steroids. Just like your personality.


"You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night"


Way to add to your stereotype ghetto guy. At least you know that 'you're' exists. That is a vast improvement to the majority of guys on this site. Wait, now I'm just confused. 


"Hey!! how are you doing?? would you like to go on a date with me??"


Of course I want to go on a date with someone who has no picture on their profile and uses two punctuation marks at the end of everything!! What's the worst that could happen?? There's no reason at all as to why you don't have a picture up...


"You look a little awkward on the pic!"


Thanks dude! You look really sweet in yours.


"How are ya? Rawr"


Hey! You know what sounds dinosaurs make! Good for you! Here's your gold star.


"Hello.. I read your Bio and i believe we have Lots in common Id love to get to know you>>"


I think you missed the part of my "Bio" that says "i" like good grammar. It's right under my picture. I'm assuming you missed it because I'm so gorgeous and my eyes penetrated your soul. I'm sure that's what it was. Do you claim to read "Lots" of girls profiles but really don't?